The show is in hiatus, and let's face it, Christmas is cold in London. It's time for the lads to take the material that they own, and spin it into a little firewood money.
But not so fast. Apparently, selling out was never of interest to the Python crew-- at least not until Eric Idle came to Broadway. As Palin remarks in "The Pythons Autobiography by the Pythons", if they were going to do an album, they wanted it to be unique and special-- not another retread, with the lads performing transcripts in front of an audience, as in their first record (as opposed to their previous record. That's this one.) And he's not just saying that for himself. Palin is speaking for the entire group, none of whom disagreed... or agreed... or could be bothered to say anything else.
Yes, the sad part about the Monty python discography is how little interest it inspired in the members themselves. Even Idle, at this stage, had no interest in records. Cleese and Chapman couldn't care less. Gilliam apparently said "Okay, here's the album cover. You know where to send the checks." (I'm only imagining this to be the case.) Only Jones and Palin saw the possibilities inherent in the album.
Remember, this was in the 70s, the era of Cheech and Chong, George Carlin, National Lampoon-- what couldn't be broadcast on television and radio could be scratched into the black, black vinyl of a record album, constituting the only uncensored option for popular entertainment in mass media, and giving the Pythons complete and total creative freedom. It was also the readiest entree into the coveted American market, as records were as easy to play in Detroit as in London. Waking America up to the allure of Python would have meant a huge increase in the marketability of the BBC television shows, which, by the grace of the short-sightedness of the BBC, were owned by the Pythons themselves. Add to that the fact that the writing was already half way done, and it seems like a no-brainer.
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| "I don't want to make an album-inium!" |
Thank goodness for Palin and Jones, who took on the challenge, spear-headed the writing and organizing effort, rounded up the sullen actors and got them the hell into the studio to establish a market for themselves, add value to the brand, and create some of the funniest comedy albums of the decade.
This was their third album-ic effort. The first was a BBC prompted disaster (except for the material and performances, of course,) and the second was a vast improvement, but still marked by production difficulties-- the recording engineer didn't take any notes of the takes, and they wound up assembling the album from a tangled, unlabeled ball of tape. This time, things went relatively smoothly, if the lack of anecdotal references is any indication. So let's give it a listen. Oh, and you can buy the album here, if you want! And if you don't want, what happened, bro? When did it all become about money?
We start right off with Michael Palin screaming in terror "Not this record!" before the needle scrapes across the grooves, as if the record itself had to be restrained before it could be played.
Lush, sweet string music follows. "Are you embarrassed easily? I am!" says Idle proudly. "It's all part of growing up and being British." The course that Idle introduces is how not to be embarrassed. Palin takes over as the cheerful but awkward creator of this self-help program, which consists of being subjected to embarrassing stimuli for a prolonged time. This becomes a cheap excuse for rude sound effects such as wet farts-- actually, wet farts is their ace in the hole (so to speak.) This is a classic example of Monty Python's predilection for combining high brow with low brow, although in this particular case, they seemed to have shot right past "high brow" with scarcely a backward glance. There is a nice running gag with Palin's professor, as he tries to administer an evaluation, with the multiple choice answers "Slightly embarrassed", "Very embarrassed" and "Good evening" the last being (ostensibly) a desperate attempt to change the subject. Plus, Carol Cleveland's in it, so that will raise a brow or two right there.
One of Palin's "Good evening"s takes us right to Chapman wishing us the same. He then introduces Cleese to read "A Book at Bedtime". But unlike the TV sketch. no one has any trouble reading this book, which seems to be some sort of "Kama Sutra for Dummies".... "the man with the melon switches on the battery and places his left thigh carefully on the swivel table..." It appears the Pythons are grasping this opportunity for uncensored antics with both hands, much like they might a melon.
Classical strings play us out, and the sound of horse hooves takes us to the Dennis Moore sketch, the first television transfer of the album so far. The material is pretty much unadapted for radio, although Cleese seems to be rushing through it. We fade out as Cleese tries to explain exactly which tree he can hit, and Idle takes over with "The Money Programme". That bit is performed exactly as it was on television, and we lose nothing without the knowledge that the men backing Idle up in the closing song are wearing Dutch milk maid outfits. The pitfalls of randomness-- no one notices it when it's gone. The song is great, an Idle classic, with "lots of lovely lira" alliteration.
Back to Dennis Moore, and they're still talking trees. Finally, Cleese gets them back on board and puts forward the big ask-- lupins. The theme song plays him off as he gallops away on his horse Concorde.
Another Idle bit follows-- he's working hard for this record-- as an Australian commentator discussing the merits of Australian table wines. Essentially, he damns them with faint praise, claiming that Chateau Chunda is a wine "specially grown for those keen on regurgitation."
A new half verse of the Dennis Moore theme song ("Mister Moore!... Lupin Galore!... Extra Whore!"... I think. These things don't come with lyrics.) bridges us from wines with bouquets like an aborigine's armpit, to the Argument Clinic. I've gone on at great lengths about my admiration for this sublime sketch. Here it is on vinyl, The set-up with Carol Cleveland seems to take longer than it should, but I can't spot any additions, so it's probably just my wretched anticipation. When Palin finally navigates Chapman' abuse and makes it to Cleese's office, we go to-- STEREO!!! Palin in the left ear, Cleese in the right. It's a wise move, an experience we never get on television, of being right in the middle of this silliness. We lose a little bit when Cleese rings the bell-- there's always a huge audience reaction to Palin's mounting frustration at being cheated, and that's missing from this otherwise excellent version. At the end of the "Getting Hit on the Head" lesson, Palin grumbles "What a stupid concept!" and we quick cut to--
"How to Do It". This was a brilliant sketch in the show. It's less brilliant on the record, although Idle, Cleese and Chapman give it their all, fairly panting with breathless enthusiasm. But without the manic smiles and the dog, it's just not hitting the mark. Another Dennis Moore verse follows; "Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, is not in this bit!" He actually is, though, as Cleese plays Mrs. Premise to Chapman's Mrs. Conclusion in the opening exchange to the whole John Paul Sartre epic. This is the great exchange about killing house pets for the sake of personal freedom. "I just spent four hours burying the cat... it wouldn't keep still. Wriggling, howling..." And what the hell is a "budgie", anyway? A parakeet or canary, apparently
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| This is a budgie. You can hit them with a book... |
Another verse of Dennis Moore, this one with the "dum-dum"s instead of proper lyrics, and we're in the Post Office with Cleese as he attempts to purchase a fish licence. It's pretty remarkable, is it not, how heavy this side of the record is with Cleese/Chapman material. We have Dennis Moore, the Argument Clinic, How To Do It, the Budgie Whack, and now, the Fish Licence. We're in stereo again for this bit. The only divergence from the televised sketch is when Palin finally caves to the halibut lover-- instead of needing to be shown a newspaper clipping, Palin just gives in. Now that's some good writin'! Finally, when Palin insists that there is no need for a fish licence, instead of being interrupted by something so visual as a freakishly tall Lord Mayor and a soccer game against gynecologists, Cleese switches gears and asks for a licence for his pet bee, Eric. Actually, Eric the Half a Bee. "He had an accident." What follows is one of the sweetest and rarest moments on the album, indeed in Python lore.
Cleese sings! The legendarily tone-deaf Cleese wrote (with Idle) a tiny little gem of a song/soliloquy about the philosophical implications of the existence of a half a bee, and then sang it, the first half in a Higgins-esque oratorical style, then in a low croak. I am transcribing the lyrics below, but you must hear the song for yourself! It is an awkward and amateurish attempt at entertainment, but so friggin' adorable, you feel like your son is up on stage for the third grade talent show. The material is first rate. It's just the performance, which the lads do their best to tart up with piano, guitar and Andy Williams-esque whistle. Here are the lyrics--
Eric the Half a Bee
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must ipso-facto half not be,
But half the bee has got to be,
Vis a vis its entity. D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?
Singing...
Lah-dee-dee... one, two, three
Eric the Half a Bee
A-B-C-D-E-F-G
Eric the Half a Bee
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the Half a Bee!
Fiddle-dee-dum, Fiddle-dee-dee
Eric the Half a Bee
Ho-ho-ho. Tee-hee-hee.
Eric the Half a Bee
I love this hive employee-ee
Bisected accidentally
One summer afternoon by me
I love him carnally
He loves him carnally!
Semi-carnally!
The end.
Palin, having misheard the lyrics, asks "Cyril Connelly?" (a British actor) and Cleese corrects him, but the background singers finish off with the mistake, and the whistle fades us out. Aw, my brothers, it's such a gem to hear this tune, which is almost unbearable to hear. Cleese seems to mock himself and happy songs in the same wasted breath, My personal favorite is "A-B-C-D-E-F-G". Talk about filler! Anyway, enough about this. Suffice it to say, once you hear it it will burn into your brain, and years later you will find yourself humming the song, and wondering why on earth you would do such a thing to yourself, but you will also smile, even laugh.
The whistle takes us to some flutes,which open the brassy theme song of a new radio quiz game hosted by Idle, the other heavy hitter on this side of the album. This show plays with sound effects, the very title of the show invaded by it. "What Do You [Broken Cuckoo Clock]?" This sketch is basically a radio version of Idle's "It's a Living" sketch, where the explanation of the rules takes up the entire show. The sound effects give it that radio spin. Funny, and certainly fast and complex, if not inspired.
Jones announces that we're in a travel agent's office, and is sure to mention the "big breasted typist" in the outre office. Yes, it's the Travel Agent Sketch! It plays out pretty much like the televised version, although after the whole "I can't pronounce the letter 'c'", bit, when Palin gives him the advice to replace the "c" with a "k" instead of a "b", Idle says "I never thought of that. What a silly bunt." Palin's interjections are brilliant, as is Idle's monologue. There's a nice little mirror here, as Palin's hysterical pleadings turn from the oblivious Idle to the audience. "Take it off!" he screams. "For God's sake, take it off!!!" The sound of a needle skipping across the vinyl grooves, and we're done with the first side, dominated by Chapman and Cleese material, and Chapman Idle performances. Even the Travel Agent's Sketch was originally written by Cleese and Chapman, with Idle adding the monologue, and Eric the Half a Bee was an Idle/Cleese collaboration. Let's see if side two gives us some Palin/Jones representation...
Well, not at first. Someone seems to have woken up Graham. We begin with him announcing "A massage from the Swedish Prime Minister". No, that's not a typo. What we get is the sound of a massage, and a pretty slappy one, at that. Music and sound effects play us off, and Cleese takes over as host of yet another sound effects oriented radio game show. Nothing particularly memorable here, and in fact it goes by so fast, it's scarcely comprehensible. There is one item worth mentioning-- one of the sound effects sounds remarkably like the Knights who say "Ni!" Maybe this is the origin story.
Moving on, we get another Cleese/Chapman classic, THRUST, or as you might remember it, the Anne Elk sketch. Chapman, having passed the joke by in the televised version, nails it this time,introducing Cleese as "An Elk." And then screaming, as though being prodded with a point-ed stick. "Sorry. Anne Elk. Mrs. Anne Elk." There are some other nice additions of silliness in the audio version, not the least of which is Chapman making his frustration heard, as opposed to just seen. It's a nice mirror of the prior Travel Agent sketch, and at the end of it, Chapman shoots the hard-to-kill Elk, first with a pistol, then with a machine gun. They should have gotten Palin's namesake Sarah in on that job-- elks are her specialty. Elks and Russia.
Now we get something new, something complex, something silly. Do I smell a little Palin.Jones action? We begin with lush, orchestral swellings, and Jones talks about the beautiful Yangtze River in China. To bolster his points, he quotes the poetry of various... British goalies? Although this is not apparent to me at first, the lads throw me a friggin' bone, and point out that for some reason, the goalies are fascinated by the river, specifically the fish within it. In standard Python fashion, they explore this concept thoroughly, with Scottish poetry commentator Palin distinguishing between the Yangtze poetry of younger goalies, versus the older ones. Finally, a football stadium song-a-long, "We love the Yangtse, Yangtse-Kiang,
Flowing from Yushu down to Ching-Kiang,
Passing through Chung King, Wuhan and Hoo-Kow
Three thousand miles, but it gets there somehow. Oh!
Well, not at first. Someone seems to have woken up Graham. We begin with him announcing "A massage from the Swedish Prime Minister". No, that's not a typo. What we get is the sound of a massage, and a pretty slappy one, at that. Music and sound effects play us off, and Cleese takes over as host of yet another sound effects oriented radio game show. Nothing particularly memorable here, and in fact it goes by so fast, it's scarcely comprehensible. There is one item worth mentioning-- one of the sound effects sounds remarkably like the Knights who say "Ni!" Maybe this is the origin story.
Moving on, we get another Cleese/Chapman classic, THRUST, or as you might remember it, the Anne Elk sketch. Chapman, having passed the joke by in the televised version, nails it this time,introducing Cleese as "An Elk." And then screaming, as though being prodded with a point-ed stick. "Sorry. Anne Elk. Mrs. Anne Elk." There are some other nice additions of silliness in the audio version, not the least of which is Chapman making his frustration heard, as opposed to just seen. It's a nice mirror of the prior Travel Agent sketch, and at the end of it, Chapman shoots the hard-to-kill Elk, first with a pistol, then with a machine gun. They should have gotten Palin's namesake Sarah in on that job-- elks are her specialty. Elks and Russia.
Now we get something new, something complex, something silly. Do I smell a little Palin.Jones action? We begin with lush, orchestral swellings, and Jones talks about the beautiful Yangtze River in China. To bolster his points, he quotes the poetry of various... British goalies? Although this is not apparent to me at first, the lads throw me a friggin' bone, and point out that for some reason, the goalies are fascinated by the river, specifically the fish within it. In standard Python fashion, they explore this concept thoroughly, with Scottish poetry commentator Palin distinguishing between the Yangtze poetry of younger goalies, versus the older ones. Finally, a football stadium song-a-long, "We love the Yangtse, Yangtse-Kiang,
Flowing from Yushu down to Ching-Kiang,
Passing through Chung King, Wuhan and Hoo-Kow
Three thousand miles, but it gets there somehow. Oh!
Szechuan's the province and Shanghai is the port,
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support!"
Sounds like Palin to me. (Thanks, Montypython.net for the lyrics! I couldn't make them out.)
Another "massage", and Idle does a great bit, reading with whispered intensity form a hot novel, that soon stalls. The naked lady stands in the moonlight... "A minute passed." Idle comes up with several hilarious variations on "a minute passed," including "a different minute passed," and "another minute, that felt like an hour but was actually only a minute... passed." The name of the hot novel, it turns out, is "A Minute Passed,"
Gilliam makes a surprise appearance as he announces grandly, "for the first time on record... the eclipse of the sun!" The lads seem to have found the fun of this medium at last, having moved beyond goofy sound effects. Cleese, Chapman and Idle report on the eclipse as though they were color commentators at a baseball game. "I think we can expect some first class eclipsing today." It's a very silly series of exchanges, so silly that director Jones has to make them start over at one point, but as the eclipse begins, "Well, I can't see anyone stopping it now," it starts to rain ("Rain. Rain. Rain."). The show is over.
Palin takes over, with a recording of Alistair Cook being attacked by a duck, with Idle as Cook-- nothing much here, just an odd sound overlay-- and then, screaming with enthusiasm, he welcomes us to the world of sound! But really, it's just another excuse for Palin to play with sound effects. "Listen to a cockroach sneeze!" "Listen to an ant rubbing Vicks on its chest!" Then, of course, things start getting out of control, as he breaks things, and fart, all the whole screaming "He-hey! Isn't nature wonderful?!" His sound samples also get sillier. A herd of zebras at the chemist's buying "something for the weekend."It's fun to hear Palin really go for it, but there's a sophomoric tone to all of this "look what we can do with sound" stuff. It feels like stoner college radio, only without the world music. It's certainly well below the level of most Python material.
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support!"
Sounds like Palin to me. (Thanks, Montypython.net for the lyrics! I couldn't make them out.)
Another "massage", and Idle does a great bit, reading with whispered intensity form a hot novel, that soon stalls. The naked lady stands in the moonlight... "A minute passed." Idle comes up with several hilarious variations on "a minute passed," including "a different minute passed," and "another minute, that felt like an hour but was actually only a minute... passed." The name of the hot novel, it turns out, is "A Minute Passed,"
Gilliam makes a surprise appearance as he announces grandly, "for the first time on record... the eclipse of the sun!" The lads seem to have found the fun of this medium at last, having moved beyond goofy sound effects. Cleese, Chapman and Idle report on the eclipse as though they were color commentators at a baseball game. "I think we can expect some first class eclipsing today." It's a very silly series of exchanges, so silly that director Jones has to make them start over at one point, but as the eclipse begins, "Well, I can't see anyone stopping it now," it starts to rain ("Rain. Rain. Rain."). The show is over.
Palin takes over, with a recording of Alistair Cook being attacked by a duck, with Idle as Cook-- nothing much here, just an odd sound overlay-- and then, screaming with enthusiasm, he welcomes us to the world of sound! But really, it's just another excuse for Palin to play with sound effects. "Listen to a cockroach sneeze!" "Listen to an ant rubbing Vicks on its chest!" Then, of course, things start getting out of control, as he breaks things, and fart, all the whole screaming "He-hey! Isn't nature wonderful?!" His sound samples also get sillier. A herd of zebras at the chemist's buying "something for the weekend."It's fun to hear Palin really go for it, but there's a sophomoric tone to all of this "look what we can do with sound" stuff. It feels like stoner college radio, only without the world music. It's certainly well below the level of most Python material.
Another goofy audio personal ad follows, (Idle: "We will get the deceased out of the house and down the chute within the hour."), as well as another "massage" from the Swedish Prime Minister.
The Fairy Tale, a Cleese/Booth creation, takes over, a sprawling bit of silliness that they produced for their second German episode. ("Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus!") It actually works better on vinyl than the televised version. Carol Cleveland took over the Connie Booth role-- I wonder of there's a story behind that-- and they focus on the King's song, "Yah-dee-buggity!" as opposed to the random stuff he was doing before. The silly song becomes a comic touchstone. The bit also ends much sooner, with a disastrous and random resolution to the second prince's quest for cigarettes, "which only goes to show," denouements narrator Cleese.
And that's the end of the album. Rife with the classics and great new silly stuff, as well as some filler, it's far from the revolutionary works of vinyl still to come, but it's representative of some of the great Cleese/Chapman bits from season three, Still, you can see their hearts weren't in it, and you feel bad for Palin and Jones, who try soooo hard! Let;s hope the next one sparks a little more imaginative fire.
Next Week; Matching Tie and Handkerchief!
The Fairy Tale, a Cleese/Booth creation, takes over, a sprawling bit of silliness that they produced for their second German episode. ("Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus!") It actually works better on vinyl than the televised version. Carol Cleveland took over the Connie Booth role-- I wonder of there's a story behind that-- and they focus on the King's song, "Yah-dee-buggity!" as opposed to the random stuff he was doing before. The silly song becomes a comic touchstone. The bit also ends much sooner, with a disastrous and random resolution to the second prince's quest for cigarettes, "which only goes to show," denouements narrator Cleese.
And that's the end of the album. Rife with the classics and great new silly stuff, as well as some filler, it's far from the revolutionary works of vinyl still to come, but it's representative of some of the great Cleese/Chapman bits from season three, Still, you can see their hearts weren't in it, and you feel bad for Palin and Jones, who try soooo hard! Let;s hope the next one sparks a little more imaginative fire.
Next Week; Matching Tie and Handkerchief!
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